Monday, January 5, 2009


Around October of 2007, Daniel and I begin the journey of fertility testing. At that point, we had been married for almost 4 years. All of the lab and blood tests were normal. Which pushed us, well, me, into further testing. The HSG revealed that both tubes were blocked. We were referred to a specialist, where we were given very limited options.

If the blockage was due to adhesions, a surgery could fix those and we'd be back in the road to procreation. If the blockage was a hydrosalpinges, we'd be looking at removing the tubes and pursuing test tubes babies injected into my uterus. Only a surgery would give us a better picture.

While planning for the procedure, we had to decide what to do if the doctor found a hydrosalpinges or adhesions. Adhesions, easy, remove them. Hydrosalpinges... what if they are both blocked? What if only one was blocked? Dr. Doctor pushed to remove both tubes and pursue IVF like it's a no-brainer. If we have him cut the tubes open, the rate of re-occurrence for the hydrosalpinges is so high, chances are, we'd be back to blocked tubes again. If one stays open and the other stays closed, the fluid that collects in my tubes is embryo-toxic and would cause a miscarriage.

The husband and wife team had much to talk about, much to pray about and much to research. The surgery was done in April 2008. A follow-up HSG a few weeks later revealed that the surgery was unsuccessful. We went through quite a valley, with lots of tears, and eventually pursued a second opinion with Dr. Doctor II. We had one visit with him, which was a repeat of what Dr.Doctor had said. IVF, IVF, IVF... is this some kind of conspiracy?

We researched IVF as an option. The doctor's made it sound like IVF was a cake-walk but my friends told me the truth. The blogs I read about women walking through IVF told me the truth. It's not a cake-walk. It's very difficult on a women's body, mind and spirit, which can be very damaging to a marriage and family. The finances involved are upwards from $15,000-20,000, with, for me, a 45% 'success' rate. Success only means that I'll get pregnant, NOT that I will carry to full term.

Although Daniel and I desire to have our own child, we have opted to not go through IVF. Whose to say that we won't change our minds? I don't know. We walk out infertility one day at a time, with Christ. Some days, I get that punched-in-the-gut feeling and find myself very disappointed and upset, even depressed over my empty womb. However, I am grateful for this journey that I am on. It has deepened my faith, love and trust in my Abba Father. It has deepened my relationship with my husband and taught me so much about him. I am blessed in my infertility.

As of December 2008, Daniel and I have decided to pursue adoption. This will be a slow process for us, in considering the financial aspects involved. Please be in prayer for us and our baby.


  1. We're happy to hear you two taking the step forward.

    We won't pretend to say we understand what you're going through because we don't. It's difficult to accept, comprehend His plan for us sometimes, and He puts some of us through tests of fire that no one else can bear except you because He knows you and will not test you beyond your limit.

    And you've shown yourself to be strong in faith.

    Ps 23:4 "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me."

    Love to you both. God bless your journey ahead.

  2. Vanessa & Daniel,

    Although I can understand some of the emotions I can say that I will be praying for you as your take the necessary mini steps to grow your family.

    It's my prayer for you that God will bless every step along the way and affirm every decision you make until the ultimate little one is in your arms.


  3. Hello sweet friends,

    We are joining you in this exciting prayer filled journey. What a love will be there waiting at the end...created perfectly just for you! We cannot wait to meet him or her, and will pray now for that child's growth daily, even if the child has yet to be born. Our Father is good. And His blessings look so differently than we expect sometimes. I read Matt. 12:46-50 yesterday and it occured to me how Christ completely blows the doors off my concept of family!

    Can't wait to celebrate with you guys at some point!

  4. It is amazing to me the growth and love that can come out of sadness. I am blessed to be in your family! My love and prayers are with you in your journey.

    Jean Owens

  5. Wow! I'm so excited for you guys. I know you're in for an incredible journey. A couple at our church just adopted a child after a lot of ups and downs on their journey. But to see them with their new son is absolutely amazing. That little boy seems so happy, like he knows how hard his parents had to work to get him, and how special he is.
    Just to think there is a baby out there that needs you. That God has chosen you to rescue and no one else will do. What an incredible calling. God bless you! Isaiah 54 Love, Aly