Who's on first. What's on second. I don't know is on third.

Yes, we are still waiting for the same piece of paperwork.

After speaking with all the abbreviated government (and related) peoples (GAPS, GBI, DHR), I still feel like I've gotten nowhere.

The issue seems to be a new disclaimer that they have added to the paperwork. I am waiting to get more information about this disclaimer. Apparently they have been meeting about this and are in meetings about it today.

It boggles my mind that I have taken a one week class for substitute teacher training and went on interviews for jobs who required background checks and everything seems to be fine with that. So, this must be a horse of a different color.

Please keep us in your prayers. . .

Two weeks ago . . .

. . . I was at the OB/GYN office hearing all the pregnant chatter and looking at all the round bellies with babies inside of them. I admit that tears began to swell over the dam. The grief swept over me as quick as death. I was able to maintain my composure until I got into the car - although I'd have rather saved the crying until I got home, I just couldn't make it that far!!

What a precious gift - for a baby to grow inside of you. Sometimes I ache and long to know what it's like - even the many potential miseries of pregnancy dim at the loss of fertility. But I can't let this ache surpass and shadow my need for Jesus.

There are things that we will carry all of our lives, some may even call it their cross. And I guess that this will be one of mine. What a precious gift I have been given! That, in Jesus, I would find peace and contentment in this journey and in giving up this control. I truly can't wait to see what the Father has in store with each new day.

Blessed be the name of the Lord!!

well. . .

Here we are still waiting on the GBI. Not that it's been this huge amount of time that has passed since my last update. I have, however, visited the blog of the first agency we were going to choose and found that many people who signed on with them earlier this year already had that deer-in-the-headlights smile on their face as they held their baby. But I constantly remind have to clothe myself in patience and trust in the Lord's timing and His plan for our lives.

I'm sure that sounds a little silly to some people and that's truly ok and understandable, but I hope that you will read on.

I am quite assured that if it were up to me, I'd have have lost my head through this entire infertility and adoption journey. Every time I work at trying to work things out in my own strength, power and timing, I fall back on a bed of nails. Where as, when I just surrender and trust, I fall back into the loving arms of Jesus. Not to say that it has been easy - it's been difficult giving up control, comfort and security - and He is still working that out in my life. And I pray He continues this work that He is doing, even if I have to land out of my comfort zone. Surrendering everything is the only thing that matters and although I haven't mastered it (and won't in this world) - I have a Father who is lovingly teaching me.

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9not by works, so that no one can boast." Ephesians 2:8 (NIV)

or as Eugene Peterson puts it in The Message:

" Now God has us where he wants us, with all the time in this world and the next to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus. Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It's God's gift from start to finish! We don't play the major role. If we did, we'd probably go around bragging that we'd done the whole thing! No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and saving. He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing. " Ephesians 2:7-10

Grace is sufficient. In fact, it's all we need.

Thank you for your prayers and support for us as we plod along in this journey.

Sitting. . . Playing . . . Waiting . . . Praying . . .

I am so excited that tomorrow we will be dropping off our family profiles to Bethany!! It was kind of fun putting it together but, towards the end, it got a little burdensome and tedious. I thank the Lord that he put Daniel's creative juices into action! It was truly a team effort.

Did I mention that I'm so excited?!

We are still waiting on a few more pieces of paperwork to make it to the Bethany Office (GBI and a reference). I pray that this will put us into 'the waiting' and none of this above listed paperwork will be an issue - especially the GBI stuff.

It seems like we've been working on all of this for the longest time - but the time has kind of flown, too.

We're ready to put some more playtime into our schedule now that all of this is done!!! Anyone game? :-)

When it is impressed upon your heart, please remember us, our baby and birth family in your prayers.

Thank you, again, for your support and prayers.

Home Visit

We completed the home visit this past Wednesday. By October we will officially be 'waiting'.
No new updates really.

If you have any fund raising ideas - those would be GREATLY appreciated.

Please keep praying for our birth mom and our baby.

"Keep Moving Forward"

A few weeks ago, I got to see "Meet the Robinsons" for the second time. And for fome reason, it really spoke to me! There's a phrase that is used quite often, "Keep moving forward!"
So, we have chosen to move past all the miscommunication and various issues and stay with Bethany. It goes against my natural instinct to jump ship - but we both have a peace from the Lord with our decision.

We've met with Melinda, who will be our worker. And we have another meeting with her Monday, August 24th. Hopefully by the middle or end of September we will be on the other side of this home study and waiting. And hopefully being presented to potential birth parents!

Please be praying for:

Our Baby

Birth parents

Bethany

Finances

Love, Patience & Joy in the waiting

grace IS sufficient

The good news or the bad news, first?

There are these amazing people that surround us and support us - listening, praying, encouraging, laughing and just loving us. I thank the Lord for my friends and my family.
I am grateful that the Lord has brought us into this process because it has certainly shown us how weak we are. I have found that I lack severely in grace-giving and patience. My expectations on people are too high. When one area of my life is an overflow of emotions, it tends to ooze and splash and spill onto everything else. Lots of ugly revealed! But we're still loved by the Lord and even our friends and family still love us. That's the good news.

However, I don't the agency is really loving me too much right now! After about a month and a half of unreturned e-mails (about 5 total) and several voicemails, we have both run through several different layers of disappointment, frustration and anger. At this point, Lucille has been the only one to call or respond, even though she is NOT our adoption specialist. That's the bad news - no Lucille.

And I'm sure about this one - maybe you can help me out, good news or bad news?
We submitted our formal application via e-mail on June 21 - Father's Day. And then sent in the accompanying paperwork the following day with a $500 check per Vicky's instructions.
We followed up to see if the paperwork arrived safely and at one point, it seemed as though it was but when our check wasn't clearing, I got concerned.
Then ensues some more one-way communication on my part - like I'm yelling in a cave or something. Then the admin sends me, via e-mail, the blank paperwork that we had already filled out and sent in exactly one month ago. My response to this - is there an issue with our paperwork? we already turned this in. And we have yet another unanswered e-mail that came from that.
Well, onto greener pastures, I got an e-mail this week asking me for clarification on some information that could only be found on the 'lost' paperwork. Anywho, in the brief, somehow it magically appeared in Vicky's inbox this past Wednesday. Please keep in mind that the admin had spent 2 days last week looking for this paperwork and could not find any of it. And the conclusion that we came to was that it must've gotten lost in the mail. Good news or bad news? You can chose.

Whether it's a series of miscommunications, non-communication, people not doing their job, people not fessing up when they make a mistake or my too high standards, our experience with Bethany has been less than satisfactory. But this is part of our story and the Lord works this all out for His glory and in His time.

Please pray that the Lord would grow our family and bless us with children.