I could just leave this blank. No action in this department of our life.
I do want to share briefly about these feelings of anxiety that mount up every-so-often (or more often than not) about the timing, about having another little heart to chase after and the list could just go on. The A-list. But no, I stand before anxiety with the sword in my hand, knowing the His grace is sufficient, His timing is perfect and He is pursuing my heart and my children's hearts. So I believe God's staggering promises that allow me to slay this beast of anxiety.
There is this internal battle that wages inside of me. It is a battle for joy. If you know me and you're reading this, you probably have wanted to call me out on this for a while. So, I covet your prayers. And allow you to spur me on and encourage me in this battle. Yes, Christ has the victory but so many times I find myself back in this bondage. I so love how the Lord works (well, usually....) and how He softens me and puts me in situations that make me so grateful for this season of life that He has me living . . . He has me living. Evey breath that I take is sweet reminder of how precious I am to Him. How precious His children are to Him. It is so easy to get consumed by worry and worldliness. Too easy. It is spoon fed to us through this multimedia culture - that we would define our value through our stuff, what others think of us, what we get accomplished - or don't get accomplished - but our true value is this... that we are so loved that we can't even grasp it - we can't wrap our brains or hearts around it . . . that perfect God stepped down from Heaven - out of eternity to become mortal. To feel the pain that we deserve - not just the abandonment of peers or the physical anguish of floggings but the ultimate separation from our Creator. Our Creator became unmade so that we could be made. Because He loves us. He promised it from the very beginning. He loves us. This is what should define us. This is where the well of joy should spring up in our lives. In Christ.
Fumbling recklessly through this blessed life not giving enough away. . .
As we prayed over this baby boy, we were not at peace with saying 'yes' to him being our son.
We are still waiting. Joyfully.
And to be completely honest, I never thought I would say no. I wondered how people could say no. But when you don't have a peace, you don't have a peace. But this this little boy has opened the door for conversations that we needed to have and need to have.
Please continue to pray. And please pray for this baby boy and this birth mother - and the family that the Lord has set apart for him. She is due in October and I am sure would be blessed by your prayers.
Thank you so much for your love, support and prayers.
We have been chosen by a birth mother. Please pray for this decision that the Lord has set before us. Please pray for this baby and birth mother. I don't include much detail as we have not made a decision just yet. We could really use some serious prayer.
Thank you.
For Kadence's two year birthday, we went to Chattanooga, TN for two days. It was tons of fun. TONS! We stayed at the Choo-Choo. Made a visit to the Children's Museum and the Aquarium. And we rode the bus a lot.
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Guess who turns two this week!
We got the privilege and joy of celebrating with family today.
We do have a puzzle we just haven't had a settled minute to put any focus on it. Hopefully... hopefully... we will be able to do that once we get back from vacation.
Yes, a vacation! Our first family vacation. In celebration of a very special two year old.
Please continue to pray that the Lord will prepare all of our hearts and home. Please pray for our birth family. Thank you!
God has been teaching me do much about who He is lately. This, in turn, has opened and continues to open my eyes to my pride, unbelief and fears. Whew! I am a mess. A messy mess at that {major understatement}! And the beauty of Christ is that He loves all of me and my messy messiness. He takes me just as I am. He knows I need more than just quick fixes and some fruit here and there. I need to gaze upon His holiness every moment I can. I need to adore Him and humble myself before my Creator {instead of the so many idols that beckon and call and trip me up}. In the hardness of this world, I need Him to guard my heart and keep it soft. I just need Christ.
As of today, we are just waiting for the supervisor to approve the home study that our case worker put together. Everything else is ready.
After approval, our family profiles will be presented to potential birth families. This could take days, weeks, months or years. It is the Lord's timing and I trust that He knows better than I ever will.
This time, and I am just being honest, I am more anxious about the reality of a baby being in the home (and juggling two children) than I am the waiting part. But again I rest in Christ and just hope I am a bit wiser and more humble this time around.
I can't believe how long it has taken us to put our family profile together this time. Last time it took a while, but I don't remember it taking THIS long! Life moves faster when you have a child but projects certainly take longer. And that is just fine with me.
Hopefully, we will order them this week. And from there, we are moving unto another puzzle fundraiser. More updates to come . . .